Show me the meaning
by MxoxoD
Summary: MerDer, starts after Freedom when Derek leaves. The candle house wasn't the only surprise in store that night. Just give it a try please!
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fic so reviews are much appreciated!!**

Meredith watched the candles go out one by one when their wicks died down or the wind blew a particularly swirling breeze.

With each one, she lost a bit of hope that he would come back. But she wasn't done yet, she still had more to say.

After about an hour outside, she went back into his trailer and made some tea to warm her hands, sitting on the porch and waiting.

And she waited.

The drive to Rose's probably took an hour and a half, including the ferry ride. And he had to make sure he made the schedule, and breaking up with someone on a schedule was pretty hard to do.

Meredith felt bad for Rose. She knew what it was like to fall completely in love with Derek despite that little voice in her head telling her that he was trouble, that she was going to get burned. But she didn't listen then and isn't listening now. And she took her man back from that nurse.

She walks back out to the field after she finished, the light jolt of caffiene and the leftover adrenaline making her too jittery to be able to sit still.

There were only a couple candles left so she bent over and blew them out too. She was losing her nerve to tell him what she really came here to say.

Finally, a lone figure walked through the trees and out to the clearing for the second time to night. He walked straight up to her but he didn't kiss her, just held her instead.

"You're still here," he said.

"I'm still here."

"The candles are out."

"Yeah."

"How did you do it anyway?"

"It doesn't matter, Der."

He pulls back and looks deep into her eyes, trying to read her emotions and she opens herself up and lets him. She was scared and pissed and something else and wanted him to see it.

"I broke up with her."

"How was that?"

"It doesn't matter. You're here now."

"Aren't you worried that the nurses are going to hate you now? Crap, the nurses are going to hate me."

"Nobody will hate you, Mer. And I'm much more charming than Mark, they won't hate me," he says laughing.

Meredith punches him lightly in the chest but she secretly loves his arrogance.

"I was wrong earlier. Maybe your ego is a little too big."

He pulls his arms in tighter around her.

"It's not my fault you make me feel like I'm the king of the world."

"That's why you like this view, isn't it? To look down on all your minions."

"Only the best," he says with eyes only for her.

He leans down to kiss her again and she lets herself get lost in him for a few minutes before pulling back again. She came her with a mission and it was only partially fulfilled.

"So you're not selling the land?"

"Of course not." He points over to the stream in the distance. "I can teach our kids to fish there. And we can build a treehouse over there," he points to another spot.

"So what would you have done if you stayed with Rose?"

He jumps back like he was burned.

"Does it matter?" he says exasperated.

Meredith shrugs. "You only have these dreams for our kids... not the ones you might have had with her? They'd be raised in the city and you'd take them out on the weekends maybe, but what about your dream?"

"The dream didn't work without you in it."

Tears roll down her cheeks, completely out of her control. He walks back over to her.

"Aw Mer, don't cry, we're together now and that's all that matters." He follows a tear track with his thumb to wipe it up.

"Okay," she nods. "So... when are you going to start building this house?"

"I don't know. I want to have it done by the time we get married." He stops and stares at her to make sure she's not about to run away. "So I'm guessing it won't start for another... year?" he finishes hopefully.

"Actually... about that."

"What?"

"I think you should start really soon. Like, tomorrow."

"Okay..." he says cautiously.

"We might need a bigger place to live soon..."

"Mer..." He grips her shoulders and holds her at arms length, his eyes wild.

"...Because in six months..."

"Meredith."

"I'm pregnant, Derek."


	2. Chapter 2

**omg guys! i had no idea that my little story would be so well recieved! thank you sooo much for the reviews. i'm like, dumbfounded. completely shocked. i wasn't going to post this till later, but i hurried it up since i got so many awesome reviews. but don't expect all the updates to be this fast... i have a life to live! LOL  
**

**hope you like where it's going! and remember to review! xoxo  
**

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"Derek, I'm pregnant."

Meredith wasn't sure how Derek was going to react to the news but she didn't expect him to storm off in anger.

"Were you ever going to tell me? If we didn't make the midnight deadline and they killed the trial, would you still have done this and told me?"

She doesn't have an answer for him.

"Goddamnit, Meredith. When did you find out?"

"Two months ago."

"You let me be with Rose for two months knowing that you were carrying my child? A child you knew that I very much wanted with you? And you weren't planning on telling me? What were you going to do when you started showing?"

"I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"Of course you didn't, you never do."

"Fuck you, Derek. If you weren't with Rose in the first place, it wouldn't have been an issue at all."

She watches as his anger slips away from him. He knows she's right.

He doesn't get any less intense though, when he grabs her wrist and drags her towards the trailer. He pushes her into the bed roughly and covers his body with hers. He slides his hands down to her stomach.

"You're having my child."

"Yes."

"That is unbelievably sexy."

He makes quick work of their clothes and works her to orgasm with his hand before taking what he desperately wants. He takes her with a ferocity she's never seen before but she hangs on for the ride.

They lay sated and panting after.

"I really, really missed you," he says.

Meredith giggles.

Derek suddenly sits up. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

Meredith laughs even harder. "Oh my god Derek. You're a doctor and you were married to an OB-GYN. You should know that you can't hurt a fetus with sex."

He lays back down and drapes an arm around her. "I just don't want anything to go wrong. I've wanted this for so long."

She doesn't have to look at him to know there are tears streaming down his face.

He kisses her shoulder softly. "I love you, Meredith Grey. So much. Thank you for letting me have this."

"I love you too," she responds quietly.

xoxoxo

Meredith woke up the next morning to find Derek's arms wrapped posessively around her midsection.

"I was afraid I was going to wake up alone, walk outside and find no candles, see you at work and realize it was all a dream. But you're here, and you're having my baby," he whispers into her ear.

"I'm not going anywhere, Derek. You can let go. I have to pee."

"Sorry," he says letting go.

She starts gathering her clothes once she gets up. "I have to go into work today."

"I'll drive you," he offers.

"No!"

At his expression, she continues. "I don't want people to know about us yet. For Rose, I mean. I know how she feels."

Derek's face falls but he nods solemnly. "Fine. Have you gotten an ultrasound yet?"

"No," she says. Between therapy and the trial, she didn't have much time to absorb the idea of her pregnancy.

"There's a private practice OB affliated with Seattle Grace who Addison spoke highly of. Carly Hill. We should give her a call."

"I don't want to give birth at Seattle Grace, Derek."

"It's the best hospital around. I don't think you have much choice."

She rolls her eyes. "Fine, I'll call her." She leans over to kiss him. "See you later, Der."


	3. Chapter 3

"Christina!" Meredith shouts, when she sees her person scurrying past.

"Can't talk, surgery in five minutes," Christina says without breaking her stride.

"This is important, I'll walk and talk." Meredith hurries to catch up with her. "I told him."

This gets her attention. Christina stops immediately and Meredith almost crashes into her. "Whoa, what happened after?"

"He got mad because I'd kept it from him this whole time but then he was just really greatful. In awe. And we're kind of sort of back together, but we're keeping it a secret so don't tell anyone."

"Nice, Alex owes me fifty big ones."

"Oh... I'd stay away from him... there's something going on there, I don't know what, but I got a weird vibe at the house this morning."

Christina rolls her eyes. "Whatever. Talk to you after I fix this guy's heart."

Meredith heaves a deep sigh and walks the other way to where Derek is waiting for her to round.

When she gets there, she avoids eye contact. She knows he's going to do the eye sex thing and she's not interested. At all. Seriously.

Mostly, she knows that everyone in the room will know that they're back together and it'll spread like wildfire through the halls of Seattle Grace and she doesn't want to be that girl again. The girl cheap whore dirty mistress.

The cheap whore _pregnant_ dirty mistress.

And really, she liked Rose. She thought Rose was sweet, and a good person, but she knew she had to get her man back and it's Derek's fault that Rose got in the way.

But people won't see it that way.

"Meredith? Is there something you're not sharing with the rest of the class?"

She's jolted out of her revierie by Derek's voice. In her shock, she looks up at him.

He gives her 'the look'.

_Crap_ she thinks.

"No, Dr. Sheppard." She's sure she's red as a tomato right now.

She excuses herself and runs out of the room. She didn't feel morning sickness at all before but she's suddenly feeling nasaeous now.

She runs into the bathroom and slams into the first stall to lose her breakfast. She gets up, feeling much better, splashes water on her face, rinces her mouth, leaves the bathroom and finds herself face to face with Rose.

"I thought you were different, Dr. Grey."

"What?" Meredith says.

"I didn't think you were one of those girls."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're a backstabbing bitch, you were nice to my face but then as soon as I turned around you stole Derek away from me."

"That's not how it happened at all," Meredith says without thinking.

Rose slaps her across the face.

Meredith lifts her hand to her cheek in shock. "Okay, that? Was unnecessary. And my friends will get you back for it, trust me." She turns around and storms away.

Derek hears the commotion and chases after her. "Meredith, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Your ex-girlfriend feels like shit and has every right to."

"You feel like shit? Here, let's go find an on-call room so you can lay down." He opens the door to the nearest on-call room and ushers her inside.

"No, you idiot. Rose." She ponders for a moment. "Wait, you still consider me your ex-girlfriend?" she shrieks.

"Meredith, calm down, you're a little hormonal right now."

"I'll show you hormonal!" she shouts, punching him with her tiny ineffectual fists, letting go of all the anger she has toward him for putting her in such a bad position.

He wraps his arms tight around her so she can't move anymore and she stills, feeling the warmth and safety that only he can provide. It has the calming affect he's looking for.

"Stop, Mer. You're going to hurt yourself and our baby. I need you to relax, everything is going to be fine."

Meredith takes a few deep calming breaths. "Fine. My appointment is tomorrow at 4, by the way."

"Okay, we'll go together," Derek says, kissing the top of her head.

"Everybody is going to know about us, Derek."

"So?"

"I'm going to be the filthy pregnant whore."

"You're going to be my beautiful, pregnant..."

"Your beautiful pregnant what?"

Derek suddenly gets down on one knee. "Marry me."

"What?! You're crazy."

"No. Just please. You've already made me the happiest man alive by telling me you're having my baby, but I'm a bit of a traditionalist, though I don't have a ring, but you're the love of my life and marrying you would just complete everything I've ever lived for."

Meredith consciously tries to keep herself from hyperventilating. "Derek, I need to think about it."

His face falls. "Mer?"

"It's too fast for me. We just got back together yesterday. Your ex-girlfriend just slapped me. I need some time to think."

"What do you have to think about? You're carrying my child. We're building a house together."

"Just let me breathe okay? You said you didn't want to breathe for me before, so I'm breathing for myself. Let me do it."

He gets up off his knees. "Fine." He goes to leave, but turns around with his hand on the door handle. "No. Not fine. Meredith, please say yes." He lets go of the door handle and walks over to where she's sitting. "Please." He gets down on both knees and cradles her head in his hands.

She looks down at him with blurry eyes, his own are tearing up as well. "Yes. I'll marry you."

His face lights up like a kid on Christmas. "YES! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much." He kisses her with all the passion he can muster and she pulls him into the bed with her.

In the dark on-call room, they strip off eachother's clothes and celebrate their engagement.


	4. Chapter 4

**it seems like a lot of people didn't like the last chapter. :( i hope you like this one more!!**

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Things had gone well for Meredith and Derek over the last couple of days and it was time for Meredith's first ultrasound. They were in the waiting room at Dr. Carly Hill's office.

"Holy crap, Derek. I can't wait any longer. I'm going to pee on this chair if they don't call my name like right now."

Derek laughs. "Relax, Mer. Think dry thoughts. The Sahara."

"The fricking Nile, Derek."

"Shh."

"That noise sounds like running water!"

Derek looks at her with so much love that she thinks she's going to burst in a whole other way. It distracts her from her exploding bladder but only for a moment.

"Dr. Grey?" the nurse by the door says.

"OH THANK GOD," Meredith exclaims while she stands up and rushes past the shocked nurse.

"Sorry, she's..." Derek starts.

"Pregnant," the nurse says with a laugh.

Meredith comes out of the change room wearing a gown, lies down on the exam table and puts her feet into the stirrups without prompting.

"Hi, Dr. Grey. I'm Dr. Hill," says the blond doctor who enters the room. "Now, I know you want to get this over with fast so we'll save the talking for later. You've performed an ultrasound before?"

"Yes," Meredith says through gritted teeth.

"Okay, so you know that I'm going to be pressing into your abdomen really hard, just let me know if it's hurting you, okay?"

Meredith nods and takes a deep breath. "Derek, come over here." She waves her hand weakly by her head.

"Oh come on, it's nothing I haven't seen a million times."

"Come. Here. Now."

He obeys and stands by her head while Dr. Hill moves the wand around and takes images. The screen is turned away from them so they can't see. Meredith does notice the puzzled look on the doctor's face and she reaches for Derek's hand.

"Okay, Dr. Grey. You can go and use the washroom now."

Meredith doesn't hesitate, she gets up, runs to the washroom and slams the door behind her.

"She knows she didn't really have to drink four full glasses of water, right?" Dr Hill asks.

"She's a bit of an over-achiever," Derek responds.

Meredith returns to the room looking much more comfortable than before and the exam continues.

Xoxoxo

Derek and Meredith take seats across from Dr. Hill in her lavish office.

"Well, everything looks good, doctors. The best I can tell, you're about fourteen weeks along."

"The best you can tell?" Derek asks bewildered.

Dr. Hill is unphased. "Take a look for yourself" She lays down a printout in front of them.

Derek and Meredith examine the sheets, Derek speaks first. "Uhh, I'm a little rusty at reading ultrasounds... but is that what I think it is?" He looks over to Meredith who looks like a deer in headlights.

"Baby... Mer, we're having twins."

"... twins?" she says, her voice shaking. "as in, two?"

"Yes, that is what it tends to mean," Derek says with smiling eyes.

"Holy crap... that's..." she closes her eyes and Derek braces himself. "Perfect," she finishes with a bright smile that lights up her whole face.

She meets Derek's eyes with tears in hers and find that his have a matching set.

"You're not freaking out?"

"I'm not freaking out. Yet."

Dr. Hill clears her throat. "You're going to start showing soon, Dr. Grey. I'm not sure if you've told the chief, but you need to ASAP. And you're going to have to lower your workload a lot, this isn't a game, this is your health and your babies' health."

She nods and starts to look scared again. Derek reaches over and grabs her hand.

"I forgot for a minute that I was going to have to tell people. I need to tell my friends, Chris knows and that's it. And I'm going to be as big as a freaking elephant."

"You'll look beautiful."

Dr. Hill quietly stands up and crosses the room. "Well, I have to get to my next patient, but you two can continue your discussion in here for a few minutes. I'll see you in six weeks."

"Thank you," Meredith and Derek say in unison.

As soon as the door clicks shut, Derek stands and pulls Meredith up. His lips crash against hers and she lets herself enjoy it for a second before pushing him away.

"What are you doing?"

"Come on, we can be fast."

"Derek, you can't even wait twenty minutes for us to get home?"

"No," he says descending on her mouth again. "I need you right now."

"Okay," she breathes into him, reaching for his belt.

"But you have to be quiet."

"You're one to talk."

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**read, love, review. xoxo**


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